Today went a little better. But two things:
I am working the weekend but am not getting off at all until Monday. Which pisses me off after the Dickhead said yesterday, 'Yeah I"ll give you off.'
I want to cry so bad. But I can't quit. Everyone says I"m crazy and that's life and tough shit. Be grateful I have a job. I just want my schedule so I can have an idea of what's going on for the next two weeks.
THen this morning I realized I was claustophobic and got stuck in an elevator.
- STill not happy.
-
![[info]](http://l-stat.livejournal.com/img/userinfo.gif?v=92.1)
goddychan- November 4th, 2009
crushed
- Fuck this world.
-
- goddychan
- November 3rd, 2009
- depressed
I've had it with life.
Today I go into my job only to find out that the my manager had been let go, along with three other people. Which normally wouldn't be anything except now that means that the Dickhead Supervisor, the man who has humiliated me more times then often, is now large and in charge. All hell is about to break loose.
However, I can't blame the dickhead for this. This was strictly all corporate.
My whole schedule is completely f**ked. No holidays, no weekends off for awhile....the only good thing out of this is the possibility of the Dickhead putting me out of commission on the floor and sticking me on laundry. Which would mean no more aggravation on a lot of parts.
I hate this place. I want out of here....it's a nursing home where I do housekeeping work and have been for three years. Today has finally been the kick in the ass that I probaly needed to realize, 'What the fuck am I doing? I need to move on into something much more comfortable'. They have no intentions of rehiring anyone nor replacing anyone leaving the already small department to do much more. And they are the type to expect a turd to be golden, if you know what I mean...
I can't walk out due to responsibility. And due to the fact that I spent a good part of my 20s complaining about everything, no one, not even my own mother, takes me seriously in regards to this job. All I"m being told to do is to man the fuck up.
So basically....I've sold my soul for money. I want to say 'fuck everything' and walk in and quit, but then how am I going to get money? I have finally made some moves to start looking and intend to continue, but I don't know....God help me please.
My whole fucking week has been destroyed. And this....the week before my birthday. I'm even lucky I"m getting that day and the following off.
- Still alive!
-
- goddychan
- October 29th, 2009
I haven't forgotten about LJ!
Just been active in other things. :)
Still getting used to things on LJ...
- ........Or When There Are No Words
-
- goddychan
- October 18th, 2009
- uncomfortable
Lots happened today while I was away at work apparently.
I came home to my mom being upset; she apparently caught my cousin at the tail end taking her anti-depressant pills. My cousin had a shocked look of 'Oh shit' but was relived when my mom didn't say anything.
My mouth is still on the floor over this. On one hand, the cousin has had problems with her psycho mother(whom she lives with, along with the youngest of her children) and takes these pills mainly to cope. On the other hand, I don't like people regardless of whom they are, messing with my family and this has the potential to blow up into a family war. Luckily, they're not pills that my mother needs on a regular basis, but still...suppose this was something that if she skipped a day could be potentially life-threatening?
So, on one hand, it's not like my mom can accuse her without concrete evidence. I'm starting to think my cousin needs a drug intervention; she's already allegedly getting some from her doctor(though I suspect that this is bullshit.). The last time she did see a doctor she said that he gave her a prescription for one a day pills. She takes two to three.
So, now it's what to do. No one wants to make the first move, but at the same time, she can't get away with it. I guess we'll see.
- Quiet (Take Two)
-
- goddychan
- October 17th, 2009
Since ff.net messed up my story, I'll post it here.Title: Quiet
Series: Bleach
Legal Disclaimer: I don’t own Ishida nor Orihime. They belong to Tite Kubo. I’m just playing around with them for a bit.
Rating: E for everyone. Ain’t no sexy in this joint.
====
1.
I am going to dieThe words ran thru his mind as he sat against the wall. The shock of everything that
unraveled hadn’t happened set in yet; luckily for him, the drugs that he had taken earlier
were still working to ward off pain from the loss of his hand. Inoue began the process of
Healing him. Meanwhile reisatsu was going off like fireworks all over Hueco Mundo.
“Ishida…” Kurosaki began
“Go. The others need your help.”
The faux-shinigami took one last look at him and turned to Inoue. “Take care of him.”
“Hai.” And with these words, Kurosaki flew off.
He closed his eyes as the warmth of the healing bubble warmed him.
2.
I can’t let him die.
She immediately went into auto pilot after Kurosaki or whomever the Beast was destroyed her captor. She used all of her strength and looked at the boy who had risked everything for her. She decided to start with the wound in his torso first.
It was harder than she had anticipated; the reisatsu was mixed.
I have to stay focused. Then the tears fell.
This is all my fault. If only I wasn’t so weak.She looked at the person before her and found herself actually blushing.
Was Ishida-kun always this cool?
“Inoue-san, don’t over do it. Okay?”
“I’m fine.” She reassured him as she continued. She put more of her will into it.
Please, please work. I can’t let him die. Not like this.
He glanced at her as she continued to work, not really wanting to interupt her. However, as she brushed up against him, he couldn’t help but blush.
“Finished.” She said relieved. He looked down and saw that the slash from Kurosaki’s Hollow was completely gone. She smiled.
“That’s amazing!” He had forgotten how valuable of a healer she was. How could Kurosaki disreguard her so casually at times? She’s our best weapon in this battle. Then he noticed that she was crying.
“Inoue-san?”
“You must hate me”, she sobbed. “It was my fault that things happened the way they did.”
“I could never, ever hate you”. He touched her cheek gently without even realizing it, brushing away a tear. Then he felt his cheeks go warm.
She wants Kurosaki, not me. It’s fine.
“It’s because of me that Kurosaki-kun changed into that thing!”
“I doubt very much that you’re the reason he turned into that”, he reassured her. Then he watched with amazement as his bow-hand returned.
5.
It took awhile due to the bad reisatsu, but before her, a hand was healed. She even was impressed and surprised. I did that. I actually did something. Meanwhile, he had his eyes closed and for a second, she panicked. “Ishida-kun?”
“I’m okay”. He smiled. “Just resting.”
“Thank you.” She looked at him eye to eye. “Thank you. Thank you for everything!”
You saved me and almost lost your life,
. He’s cute when he blushes like that. It’s kind of sweet.And for the first time, she realized that perhaps her heart was lost to the wrong person…
Fini!
- Fanfiction: Quiet
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- goddychan
- October 17th, 2009
www.fanfiction.net/s/5448688/1/Quiet
Please review!
It's the first time in five years that I've wrote a fanfic and I've finally did it.
- Writer's Block: Nothing to fear but fear itself
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- goddychan
- October 16th, 2009
What is your biggest fear? Have you tried to overcome it?
First question listed was submitted by
![[info]](http://l-stat.livejournal.com/img/user_ontd.gif?v=92.1)
teammccracken. (Follow-up questions, if any, may have been added by LiveJournal.)
Well...my biggest fears are this:
1. Death
2. Getting fired from my job, though in all honesty, that might be a mixed blessing
3. The older I get, the more worried that I might wind up being alone for good as I get older. I'll be like these poor old women with ten million cats wondering about.
I"m trying to overcome at least number 2. I tend to worry about stupid things all the time and people, especially my mother, tell me that I'm the most negative person ever. I'm trying to remedy that by being more positive though in the case of my job, that's hard at times....><
- I WANT ONE
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- goddychan
- October 14th, 2009
tech.yahoo.com/blogs/null/152839
I've been looking to get a small laptop next year. I sometimes write when I'm out and I thought maybe it'd be nice to have one.
- Solitude
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- goddychan
- October 14th, 2009
calm
What a quiet day. THANK GOD.
I'm the type of person who likes to follow things in order and doesn't like to be interupted. I'm a control freak I guess. I start at one thing and work my way around until I'm done.
Coming home today, I got followed by a cute black kitty cat who sometimes hangs around the apartments. I call her 'Yoriuchi'.
On a sad note: the garage sale is canceled since it's going to rain the whole damn weekend. Sucks because I wanted to make some xtra money. But on the bright side, I have three days of freedom now.
Tommorrow: Bring out my winter clothes. It's cold.
